I weighed in at my nutritionist’s today
And I am proud to say I have, after initially gaining three lbs of water weight when I started seeing her, lost seven and a half pounds since the second week of January :)
I am working my butt off and could not ask for a better, more rewarding way to this.
When I was dealing with my eating disorder, sure, I was happy-ish, maybe the better word is relieved since I still wanted to drop more weight, when I finally got down under 90 lbs, but it always felt like fake weight loss or a fake body-something like that. My guess is because I knew it couldn’t last. That no matter how good I was at fasting or purging or whatever I couldn’t sustain that my whole life. Everything seemed so calculated and temporary and I knew of crazy things that would allow me to be down that one pound even if only for the time I was standing on the scale. Hell, if I chewed a piece of gum I probably gained two pounds because my body was so confused. Now as I learn to respect my body, feed it properly, and exercise in healthy amounts, I finally am beginning to feel like I live in this body I was given and could not be happier about it.
Hope you all have a good night,